Who's Invited? Tips to Help You Determine Your Elopement and Intimate Wedding Guest List
One of the biggest decisions you must make when planning your wedding is determining who will be on your guest list. Your guest list will set the vibe for the entire wedding, and in the case of elopements, determining the guest list, or lack thereof can be one of the most challenging parts of the planning process. In fact, one of the biggest barriers to couples choosing to have the elopement or intimate wedding of their dreams versus conforming to the norm and going the traditional route is the guest list. We often hear couples say, “We can’t elope. How would we ever tell our family they aren’t invited”.
Well, let us tell you a secret: elopements don’t just have to involve two people! You heard us right; elopements can involve your closest family and friends and remain an intimate experience that is reflective of your relationship. Just keep in mind the following to ensure that your intimate wedding vision remains intact.
Make sure everyone is fully on board with your vision and understands that you are not having a traditional wedding. Make sure they know that you will be making the decisions and things may look or flow differently than weddings they have attended in the past. If they can get on board with your vision, great! If they can’t, then maybe leave them off the guest list. You chose to have an elopement to reduce the stress, expectations, and obligations that come along with traditional weddings. If you find yourself making compromises, it’s time reconsider your guest list or whether you really want to have an elopement.
How assessable is your ceremony location going to be? Can all your guests physically make it to the ceremony or reception spot?
Would inviting 1 or 2 people result in feeling like you need to invite more and more people until your guest list has spiraled out of control, and you’ve lost the intimate feeling? If that’s the case then consider having a “just us” elopement.
If you have decided to involve friends and family in your elopement day, here are a few different ways you can do so:
Have One Ceremony + Reception: If you are looking to have the intimate feeling of an elopement but have always dreamed of saying your vows surrounded by loved ones, then having a single ceremony might be the right choice for you. Just take note that if you choose this route, you may have compromise when choosing your ceremony location, as certain locations may not be accessible to some of your guests.
Split Up the Day: You would never dream getting married without your loved ones there, but you have always dreamed of an intimate, waterfall elopement. We get that, and guess what? You can have both. If you choose this option, you can have a private vow reading with just you and your partner and then have another ceremony with your friends and family afterward. You can choose to read the same vows at both ceremonies or keep your vows private and choose to say something different during you public ceremony.
Turn Your Elopement into a Weekend Experience: For some couples, cramming two ceremonies into one day sounds like a lot of work, and aren’t elopements supposed to be about relieving stress? We have the perfect solution for you: spread your wedding out over two days. On the first day, go to your epic ceremony spot and have your private vow reading and take all those amazing adventure elopement pictures. Then, on the second day, have a ceremony and reception with all your loved ones where you sign your marriage license. It’s a win-win!
“Just Us” Ceremony Experience with Guests Included in Intimate Moments - If you choose to have a “just us” ceremony, friends and family can still be involved in intimate moments before and after the ceremony. They can help you get ready or watch your first look. They can be involved in family portraits before or afterward. Finally, they can be there with you to celebrate with at a small reception and give all the traditional toasts of a large wedding experience.
If you have decided to make your elopement a “just us” wedding experience there are still plenty of beautiful and creative ways to involve your families and friends, even if they are not present. Here are some ideas:
Invite them to come along to pick out your wedding attire. Make a day out of it!
Throw an engagement party or a post-elopement party.
Facetime on the day.
Include family heirlooms in your ceremony.
Invite when to join you when you sign your marriage license.
Ask them to write letters that you can read on your elopement day.
Keep them updated with photos and selfies on your day.
Have a reveal party after your elopement to share your full gallery of photos!
Gift them a framed photo or album
You have chosen to have a wedding experience that is unique to the two of you, and while we would hope that all of your loved ones can get on board with this idea, the truth is this is not always the case. If you choose to announce your elopement plans (that choice is 100% yours to make), you may be met with lots of questions and, in some cases, hurt feelings. We have compiled a list of some tips to help make sure this news goes over as smoothly as possible.
Remember the Most Important Thing – This is your day! It’s okay to feel for your friends and family who might be initially disappointed in your elopement plans. You can do what you can to try to lighten the blow, but ultimately this day is about your love, and it should be celebrated in a way that most resonates with you.
Leave Breadcrumbs – No, not literal breadcrumbs, we’re talking metaphorical breadcrumbs. What we mean by this is drop hints before getting engaged or announcing your elopement. This can help ease your loved ones into the idea and thereby make them less shocked when you eventually end up announcing it.
Face-to-Face – When possible, tell your loved ones your decision face to face. They will be able to feel and see your genuine excitement and will be more likely to hop on board the elopement train.
Share Your Why – Elopements have changed a lot over the years. Modern day elopements may be a foreign concept to your family members, and many may still be thinking of the elopements of the past. Modern-day elopements are not about excluding family members. They are about have a wedding that is authentic to who you are as a couple and for some couples that is not a traditional wedding. Sharing you why with them can help them understand.
Involve Them in the Details Leading Up to the Elopement – Invite your friends to pick out your elopement attire, have mom help make the “We Eloped” sign you plan to get photographed after your event. Tell your family and friends about all the details of your elopement day. Keeping them informed and involved will fuel their excitement.
Share Your Pictures – These photos will be physical proof of the excitement and joy that came from your elopement day. It will allow your friends and family to understand what your elopement day was all about and the smiles on your faces and joy emanating from your beings will be all the proof they need to understand that you made the best decision for you!
Your wedding day is a celebration of your love, and the guest list should reflect that. Whether you decide to have a large wedding or an intimate elopement, it's essential to ensure that everyone is on board with your vision. If you've decided to go with an elopement or an intimate wedding, there are creative ways to involve your friends and family in your special day. And if you have decided to have a “just us” wedding experience, there are ways to soften the blow, but remember that this is your day, and while it's natural to want to please everyone, ultimately, the decision should be based on what is best for you and your partner. So go ahead, plan the wedding of your dreams, and get ready for your best adventure yet.
Are you ready to get your greatest adventure started? We would love to connect!